


and you'll never feel left all alone

by angrylizardjacket (ephemeralstar)



Series: bless the children of the beast {charlotte & lola AU} [4]
Category: The Dirt (2019)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Family Feels, Gen, Home Movies, Home for Christmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23472256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemeralstar/pseuds/angrylizardjacket
Summary: Jupiter (Lola & Tommy’s kid) and Penny (Charlotte & Razzle’s kid) find some old home movies, and watch some old interviews on YouTube. This should be fine, right? Definitely not going to be a sad trip down memory lane.
Relationships: Nikki Sixx/Original Female Character(s), Original Female Character(s) & Original Non-Binary Character(s), Tommy Lee (Mötley Crüe) & Original Female Character(s), Tommy Lee (Mötley Crüe)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: bless the children of the beast {charlotte & lola AU} [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1685215
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	and you'll never feel left all alone

**Author's Note:**

> I write for 3 people apparently; me, @misscharlottelee, and that one anon who was invested in Gabs’ blog abt these gals. But also fuck i love writing this, it’s so angsty and i love family dynamics and also insights into Lola and Tommy’s relationship post-kid but when they’re not together….. idk im a mess abt this.

The label on the video tape reads _‘Christmas 1991’_ in Tommy’s messy handwriting, and Jupiter doesn’t quite know what possess them, but they put the tape in and press play.

“What’d you find?” Penny asks, looking up from a box of old notebooks that she’d been poring over, intrigued to hear the television start up.

“Home movies, I think.”

“ _Hi Lily-pad,_ ” the woman in the video looks and sounds like their mother, but so bright and young, and Jupiter is frozen, eyes glued to the screen. 

They watch the recording, as a young child with dark hair and dark eyes runs into frame, almost barreling Lola over. The kid couldn’t be more than three or four, waddling, with hair so long it had to be put in braids, or it would be an untamable nightmare. Lola drops the duffle bag she’d been holding in favour of scooping up the kid, the young Jupiter, grinning so wide, so bright, kissing all over their face as they giggle, “I’ve missed you so much!” Lola exclaimed, and hugs the kid close, and the kid hugs her back.

“ _Momma!_ ” The kid snuggles against Lola, smiling, “ _daddy, you were right!_ ” They turn to look at whoever’s behind the camera, and Lola’s expression turns fond, her gaze focused on the child.

“ _Of course, Lily-pad, wouldn’t miss this for the world!_ ” Lola assured them, holding their daughter in one arm, refusing to put them down, she bends to pick up her bag before finally turning her gaze to the camera, and her already bright smile widens.

“ _Where’d you find that old thing?_ ” Lola asks, and young Jupiter’s looking at the person behind the camera with a smile.

“ _Garage,_ ” comes Tommy’s reply, and he steps forward when Jupiter makes insistent grabby-hands at the lense, and Tommy lets her take a hold on the camera, though his gentle _'careful, Liss’_ could still be heard, and full of curiosity, the toddler presses her face against the camera lense, much to Lola and Tommy’s amusement. 

“I forgot how cute you were back then,” Penny nudges Jupiter in the ribs, the two of them side-by-side on the floor of Tommy’s garage, having dusted off the old VCR and home movies. 

“I don’t remember this,” Jupiter’s voice is quiet and they can’t seem to look away. 

The video follows as the trio walk through the halls of Tommy’s mansion, the very building they were staying in now.

“ _How are Nikki and Mick?_ ” Tommy asks, quick to add, “ _and Alice, of course._ " 

” _They’re good, Nikki’s doing really well, Alice especially has been super supportive, and Mick…_ “ she trails off for a moment, ” _Mick is Mick._ “ Is all she can offer, but Tommy seems to get it, enough to at least laugh.

” _What are they doing today? We could have invited them._ “

” _Nikki’s fine, he sends his love by the way, he’s hanging out with Slash and his missus, and a couple of other guys from the band; their kid’s almost Penny’s age, how wild is that?_ “ Lola asks, and Tommy makes a noise in the back of his throat. ” _No, Duff won’t be there_ ,“ Lola knows without even having to hear his complaint, what’s set him off on a mood. _"He’s holidaying in Australia this year.”_

“ _Hope he gets sunburnt_ ,” Tommy grumbles, “ _or eaten by a shark._ ”

“ _Tommy…_ ”

“ _Whatever, doesn’t matter anyways, how are you? What have you been up to?_ ” He asks, and they’re in the living room now, and the camera catches it as Jupiter scampers from Lola’s arms and heads into the bustling kitchen, announcing her arrival.

“ _I’ve been busy, of course, with the Alice collaboration, and I’ve been looking at renting a bigger office, hiring some interns_ ,” she sounds a little proud, and Tommy sets the camera down; neither are in frame.

“ _Really moving up in the world,_ ” Tommy’s smile is clear in his voice.

“ _And, uh_ ,” Lola hesitates, and there’s rustling like she’s digging in her pockets, “ _ninety days_.” She says quietly, finally, and a silence follows.

“ _I’m so proud of you, dude, that’s awesome_.” Tommy’s voice is muffled, like he’s speaking into her hair, and then there’s movement from the camera as he’s picking it up, focusing it on a mildly embarrassed Lola.

“ _I’m commemorating this moment;_ ” Tommy told her, and Lola can’t help her little, embarrassed smile as she holds up the little 90 Days Sober chip, “ _Merry Christmas, Lols, I’m so damn proud_.”

The video roughly cuts to a shot of Tommy in front of the Christmas tree, frowning at the camera, before double checking it was stable. When he moves away, the rest of the room is revealed. Tommy’s parents sit on the sofa, watching young Jupiter, and what can only be a young Penny diligently shaking presents with their names on it. 

Penny is almost six, strikingly blonde, and looks like a young woman on a mission, methodically going through all of her presents and trying to hear what was inside. Jupiter, however, watches Penny pick up a present, and follows suit, too young to read, to know if their name’s on it, and when Penny shakes her present, Jupiter copies her tenuously, not quite grasping what they were doing. Penny catches the way Jupiter’s watching her, and then looks at the present. 

“ _That’s not yours_ ,” Penny tells Jupiter, and gently takes the small box from her, “ _that’s for Nana_.” And she puts it back beneath the tree, scouring the pile of presents, before she finds a small, soft, strangely shaped one and hands it to Jupiter. “ _This is for you._ ” And she says it so matter-of-factly. Jupiter shakes it, confused, watching Penny for approval. “ _Can you hear what’s inside?_ ” Penny asks, and Jupiter shakes her head, looking a little concerned, as if she’d done something wrong. 

“ _Well then why don’t you open it up and see what’s inside?”_ Lola offers, stepping into frame and sitting by the Christmas tree. Jupiter tears into the paper like a wild animal, and for a moment they’re turned away, before they go still.

“ _He’s got sticks like daddy_ ,” and they sound overjoyed, turning to excitedly show their grandparents the teddy bear wearing a black t-shirt with the Theatre of Pain mask on it, holding two plush drumsticks. 

“ _And Penny, I know you’re a bit old for bears,_ ” Lola started tentatively, reaching for a similarly shaped package near the base of the tree, handing it over to the blonde girl, “ _but your dad was a drummer too, just like your uncle_.” And Penny’s far more subdued than Jupiter, who’s climbed into her Grandfather’s lap and started to air drum with the bear, already seemingly forgetting the rest of the room.

Penny’s bear has a little, black tophat, and a black shirt with the cover of Hanoi Rocks’ first album, ’ _Bangkok Shocks, Saigon Shakes, Hanoi Rocks_ ’ printed on it, and two little drumsticks. The bear is smiling. 

“ _We match!_ ” Jupiter exclaims, upon seeing Penny’s bear, but Penny herself doesn’t seem to notice, just gives Lola a tight hug. 

“Oh,” it was Penny’s turn to go soft, in the present, watching the surprisingly high-quality recording of something she hadn’t even realise she would remember, “I’ve still got that bear somewhere.”

“I don’t.” Jupiter sounds like they regret that, “when I was twenty-something, you remember I burnt all the shit that Lola ever gave me.”

“Yeah, I remember your Y2k party.”

“I miss that bear,” Jupiter admits, almost inaudibly. 

They watch as the family opens Christmas presents together, the girls getting a range of toys and clothes, all in pinks, purples, and blacks. Penny gets a set of glow in the dark stars for the ceiling of her room, and Jupiter gets a plush planet in tie-dyed neon purple.

And then there’s another cut, a strange angle, like the camera’s set on a coffee table, catching the side-profile of the piano and stool beside it. Lola’s sitting on said stool, watching Tommy as he makes sure the camera’s recording. She looks at Tommy with a quiet happiness, almost like she was content; with ankles crossed, wearing a thick, knitted sweater, she looks, for lack of a better word, domesticated. 

Tommy looks back at her, and for just a moment, he pauses.

“ _What?”_ Lola half laughs, sounding more gentle than she’d usually ever let herself sound on camera.

“ _You just look really good_ ,” Tommy grins, “ _healthy and shit; you look like you’re doing good_.” After a moment, there comes a quiet giggle from off camera, and both Tommy and Lola turn, grinning. 

It’s Penny and Jupiter, and Jupiter sits in Lola’s lap, and Tommy scoops up Penny and sits her in his lap when he joins Lola by the piano. The two dutifully inform the pair by the piano that Grandma and Grandpa Bass have gone upstairs to take a nap, and that they had been very well tucked in and kissed goodnight. It’s almost painfully adorable.

And Lola’s hands come up to the keys, and Jupiter uses her arms like armrests, and asks what’s happening.

“ _It’s tradition_ ,” Penny tells her matter-of-factly, and Tommy presses a kiss to the top of his niece’s head before agreeing.

“ _It’s a Christmas present I gave your mommy a long time ago,_ ” Tommy told Jupiter, who was watching as Lola carefully played a few scales.

“ _A piano_?” Jupiter asked, and Lola laughed gently, her fingers stilling for a moment.

“ _No, Lily-pad, he gave me the chance to get back to doing something I loved,”_ she said gently, before her fingers found the opening chords for _Home Sweet Home._ When Lola sings it, it sounds like a lullaby, and Tommy holds little Penny, watching in quiet awe. 

“ _You know I’m a dreamer, but my heart’s of gold, I had to run away high, so I wouldn’t come home low,_ ” her voice catches, and Tommy fills in, matches her tone, her gentle singing, and Jupiter looks up at him, eyes bright and full of wonder as the song turns to a quiet duet between their parents.

And in the present, Jupiter doesn’t realise they’re crying until they feel the tear tracks beginning to dry on their cheeks.

“She always played that one,” Jupiter scrubs almost angrily at their cheeks, as if trying to erase the proof of their emotions before anyone could accuse them of having any of them. When all they hear is a choked noise beside them, they turn and Penny’s silently sobbing, not even trying to hide her tears.

“I- I forgot, f… fuck.” And then she’s fumbling, pulling out her phone, clicking and typing before pulling up a YouTube video.

 _HANOI ROCKS Razzle Dingley & Charlotte Lee Cutest Moments_ the title reads, and Penny flicks through to about the two minute mark. It’s an interview, the footage grainy, but Charlotte and Razzle are side by side on a sofa, his hand on her knee, and the pair look _so elated_. 

“ _So do you, what do you put on for your daughter to go to sleep to? Is she nodding off to like, Motley Crue’s_ Kick Start My Heart _? or Razzle, is she more of a_ Boulevard of Broken Dreams _girl?_ ” The reporter asks, tone light and a little teasing, and Penny’s parents laugh in the recording, and they catch how Razzle tips his head to lean against Charlotte just a little more.

“ _Pennylope’s gonna grow up to be a real rock an’ roller, I can tell you that, she’ll know all the words to my songs before she knows mam or dad, I’ll bet_ ,” Razzle grins and it’s all teeth, but Charlotte doesn’t seem inclined to disagree.

“ _I tried to change her while listening to a demo of their new album, and she just wouldn’t stop dancing_ ,” Charlotte adds, before her grin turns a little mischevious, “ _don’t tell Tommy I said this, but Motley’s stuff scares her half to death; I put on_ Shout at the Devil _the other day and she started bawling her eyes out._ ” Which sets Razzle off laughing, nodding, and Charlotte tucks her arm in his; they’re almost sickeningly cute. Sitting like this, the studio lights catch the glint of their respective wedding rings.

“ _No, no, tell ‘em about that cute thing, though_ ,” Razzle urges, nudging Charlotte’s knee, “ _tell ‘em about the Motley song she likes_.”

“ _The_ one,” Charlotte emphasizes with a laugh, but obliges, “ _so yeah, there’s this one song she does like, and it’s one I’m quite fond of -”_

 _“You’re biased,”_ Razzle goads her fondly, and Charlotte rolls her eyes.

“ _Am not -”_

_“Your cousin wrote it!”  
_

_“Co-wrote it! And that doesn’t make it less cute.”  
_

_“It is pretty fuckin’ cute.”_ Razzle agrees, and shuts up enough for Charlotte to actually finish the story, though he’s got this starry-eyed gaze the whole time.

“ _So Tommy and Nikki wrote this, actually partially for me and for, uh, not exactly sure what to call her, Lola, their assistant manager, I guess? Who they were sort of dating? It’s a whole things, but we’d all just been having an atrocious time on tour in like, eighty-two, all ready to go home, and I remember one night just seeing Lola and Nikki curled up at the back of the tour bus, Lola was almost asleep, and Nikki was being like,”_ she laughs, _“uncharacteristically cute, saying stuff like, ‘_ not long now ‘till we’re home sweet home’ _and I just remember Tommy absolutely just taking that phrase and running with it.”_ She takes a breath now, seeming much more gentle and honest, fidgeting a little, “ _and we just, it just sort of became an anthem between the four of us, a signal, like a little thing we’d start to hum if we were feeling homesick or needed some comfort, it wasn’t a romantic thing, it was just a need for human contact and connection, you know, a bat-signal for ‘_ I’m having a shit time please come hug me’ _.”_ Though she laughs, it’s far more honest than she’d probably intended, and it seems to occur to her as she takes a deep, shaking breath, just how honest she’s allowed herself to be. After a beat, she swallows heavy, tentatively humming the opening notes of the song, before looking to the camera, and then to Razzle. Her humming goes quiet. He drops a kiss to her shoulder in silent solidarity.

“ _Just, you know,_ just take this song and you’ll never feel left all alone _,”_ she quotes the song, looking back at the camera as she smiles softly, and her hand moves to hold Razzle’s, “ _and when I hear that, it’s my family, like my real family with Tommy, and my band family, giving me support, and it reminds me every time Nic’s on tour that he’ll be back soon, and it’s the support I wanna give my daughter, my little Pennylope. That I’ll never be too far away.”_ She says with such heartfelt sincerity, before she laughs a little, and the interview cuts to a new clip in a jarring fashion, but Penny turns off her phone. Her hands are shaking, and she’s crying. Jupiter wraps her up in a hug.

“I just f- forgot about… we haven’t had family Christmas in _so long_ and I just- it was their song, Jup, and now it’s _our_ song, and I just… I miss it.” She tucks her face into the crook of Jupiter’s neck, and Jupiter has absolutely no idea what to say, knowing only that they’ve started crying again. For the longest time, they stay like that, the two of them holding each other in the dusty garage, with the home video paused in front of them. 

Neither of them have seen Lola in person for a very long time, not properly, and the premiere of _The Dirt_ doesn’t exactly count. 

Silently, Penny moves away, moves to rewind the tape, to listen to the exchange, the song again. Jupiter is frozen, doesn’t even know what they feel, or how to process what is happening.

“ _It’s tradition_.” Young Penny tells them both from the recording again, and she sounds so earnest it almost hurts.

“ _It’s a Christmas present I gave your mommy a long time ago,_ ” Tommy, so young, so gentle and caring, smiles in the video.

“ _A piano_?” Jupiter asked, voice high and young and curious, which makes Lola laugh, gentle and fond, a sound that makes present-day Jupiter’s heart ache.

“ _No, Lily-pad, he gave me the chance to get back to doing something I loved.”_


End file.
